On Australian Radio

Before I Go to Sleep has been discussed on Australian radio! My Australian publisher, Michael Heyward, was a guest on 'The Book Show' the other day, which airs on ABC Radio (I think that's right - correct me if I'm wrong!). He was joined by host Ramona Koval, journalist and writer Jane Sullivan and Jane O'Hara, director of the Brisbane Writer's Festival. You can listen to the show here. 

Before I Go to Sleep is discussed at about 13 minutes in but the whole show is fascinating and well worth a listen. For me it was slightly surreal to hear my novel being talked about on the radio, but very exciting! 

When I write

It's been a quiet few days - as far as anything writing or book related goes, at least. I've been plugging away at Nine Lives, and in doing so I've discovered something rather surprising:

Like it or not, I write best in the morning.

This might not be a shock to you, but to me (and to anyone who knows me) it's rather a revelation. If you believe (and I do) that there are evening/night people, and morning people, I'm definitely the former. I can be so exhausted at 4.30 pm that I want to go to bed, yet I can guarantee that at 8pm I'll start to come alive, and by midnight, when I really ought to be going to bed, I'm totally awake, my mind firing on all cylinders (relatively speaking).

Yet, with writing, it seems to be different. I've tried writing at all times of the day, and contrary to what one might expect, I seem to be a morning writer. I work best if I set my alarm for 6.30. I drag myself out of bed at about 6.45, grope for my glasses, stumble towards the coffee machine. The house is still dark, the street outside quiet, not even the pug bothers to move. I slouch in front of my computer, still not quite sure where I am, much less why I'm awake, and with a minimum of reading back, I force myself to press on. I don't fully wake up for at least an hour or so. I don't check my emails, I don't even log onto Facebook. There's no point - not that early. I just write.

This peacefulness helps but I think it's actually the weird awake/not awake state that actually makes the difference. The barrier between the real world and the imaginary one seems easier to cross (perhaps because I'm not yet fully in either). My inner critic, though never gone completely, is half asleep. I'm not so hard on myself if I can't think of the right word or perfect metaphor, because hey, I showed up, didn't I? What I do come out with seems to emerge direct from the subconscious, half formed, and when I look back later, now fully awake, I'm sometimes genuinely surprised at what I've come up with (and occasionally in a good way!). I suppose it's no surprise really, after all many artists and writers have used drugs to take their mind elsewhere and unlock some mysterious part of their creativity; perhaps for me being half asleep goes some way towards achieving the same ends. It's not quite as rock 'n' roll though, is it?

Oh well. Maybe tomorrow I'll live dangerously and set my alarm for six...

What's under the slip cover...

For those who are interested,  I wanted to show the full picture that will be used on the jacket of the US version of Before I Go to Sleep. Spooky, isn't it?

The UK jacket

I'm delighted to be able to reveal the jacket for Before I Go to Sleep in the UK!

I absolutely love it - what do you think?

Text catalogue and a smelly night out

I just thought I'd share this - it's the new Text catalogue that I received in the post the other day. Text are publishing Before I Go to Sleep in Australia, and here you can see that I've been honoured with a double page spread - very exciting!

Also - I went to a really good event last night. It was called Scratch and Sniff and hosted by Odette Toilette. The theme was Scent and the Pen, and I didn't know what to expect but we were introduced to lots of very interesting scents/perfumes and encouraged to discuss them. (One in particular stood out - the perfumer wanted to create the smell of (and I'm paraphrasing) "a matador who has deflowered a virgin and taken the bloodied sheet into the bullring where he kills the bull"). There were also some interesting speakers who talked, amongst other things, about the difficulty of describing smell, beyond nice/nasty or sweet/sour, then we all had a go at describing the contents of five anonymous bottles before attempting a scent inspire Haiku. All very good fun - and a very different night out.

What's been happening lately

Time for a bit of a catch up I think....

So the bound proofs are in, and are going out again. I was given a few when I was at Transworld on Tuesday, and most of those went to my ex-coursemates when I went out for a drink with them on Friday. It was good timing - I wanted them to be amongst the first to actually get one of the final versions of the book. Without them the book would have been very different, and to say that their input into the early stages of the book was invaluable would be an understatement. Their help was sometimes very practical ('Why don't you try....?') and sometimes less tangible, though no less important ('Come on, of course you can make it work!', often conveyed non-verbally) but it was all absolutely vital and utterly profound.

As the three of us who were there are all at different stage in a new book we talked a lot about the importance of having someone in your life who you can show work to but who will be honest with you. All of the advice says not to show your work to your family, loved ones or someone you're sleeping with as their judgement will always be tempered with a desire to spare your feelings and possible create an easier life for themselves ('It's wonderful, darling' will always lead to a less fractious exchange than 'Well, it's OK but I think you can do better'). I realised (again, I've never really forgotten), how lucky I am to have N, whose judgement is never less than honest, who never lets me get away with anything less than my best, and who will risk an entire evening of me sulking like a child denied his favourite toy in order to help me to improve my work. Thank you N.

What else? I've read an absolutely brilliant book in manuscript. It's coming out next year (certainly in Australia, I'm not sure where else) and is written by Alice LaPlante. It's called Turn of Mind and is definitely one to watch I think. Oh, and I've also given a copy of Before I Go to Sleep to my brother-in-law - we're hoping to work on a very exciting (to me at least!) project together, but more on that when something's definite.

There, I think that's probably it for now...

The bound proofs

Well, I am ridiculously excited once more. Yesterday I had a meeting with my UK publisher, (Transworld - the book is coming out on their 'Doubleday' imprint) and saw, for the first time a bound proof of the UK edition of Before I Go to Sleep.

For those that don't know (and I didn't, until very recently) this is a copy of the book that looks and feels like a 'proper' paperback book - the only difference is that the text inside is not (quite) the final text (it's the copy-edited-but-not-proofread version) and the jacket doesn't (quite) have the same picture on it (though the picture it does have follows the same design concept* as the real, actually-available-in-the-shops book will have next April).

It looks lovely, and feels lovely, and it's absolutely bizarre to open it and see the words that started off somewhere in my head last year actually there, in black and white, on a page. The book exists now, in the world, and it's a weird feeling. Once again it almost feels as though it doesn't have anything to do with me, which is kind of nice in a way. Now I just have to wait to see what the people who these proofs are being sent to will think of the book. Fingers crossed!

*I'd love to share the cover, but I can't, yet.

The American Jacket

I am very, very happy to finally be able to reveal that in the US Before I Go to Sleep will look like this. The lower two thirds is a slip cover that comes off to reveal more of the haunting picture glimpsed at the top, and on the back is another beautiful picture that unfortunately I don't have electronically. This jacket was designed by Richard Ljoenes at HarperCollins (with art director Archie Ferguson).

I love it - what do you think?

Leaving New York

Well, it's been an amazing week or so! Last Thursday I flew to New York, a city I have only visited once before, in 2008, but absolutely love. I remember then having the most bizarre sense of homesickness for the city as we sat in the taxi on the way to JFK airport to fly home, so I was looking forward to going back.

I was over there to meet the HarperCollins team, who will be publishing Before I Go to Sleep in the US, but had decided to stretch my visit out so that I could do a bit of sightseeing and shopping. We chose a great hotel in the meatpacking district and from there explored SoHo and the lower east side on foot, taking in The High Line (an incredible 'urban park' which has been created by landscaping and planting grasses and other plants along a disused, raised railway line) and a few favourite cafes, restaurants and shops from last time. I loved New York again - I think partly at least because it's not that different from London yet the contrast is still pronounced enough for the city to feel fresh - and it was great to discover some new places and things (Chelsea Market, french toast with bacon and maple syrup, The Lincoln Centre, Craft) to add to my list of favourites.

On Tuesday, though, I went to the HarperCollins offices. I had an incredible day, kicked off by meeting my publisher at HC, Jonathan Burnham who was great and made me feel very welcome, and Claire Wachtel, my amazing US editor who is warm, generous, funny and wonderfully direct ('Don't turn into an asshole!' was one of the first things she said to me, following which she told me about authors she had known who had done just that). Together we looked at the US bound proof, which is lovely and, even more exciting, a mock up of the cover they intend to use. It looked absolutely incredible and I really love it (though I showed that in an even more understated way than usual as I had had no sleep, so I worry that the designer thinks I hate it but am putting a brave face on it - which is not the case!), and I will share it when I can.

From there I met some lovely people who are going to be working on the book in some capacity, mostly in sales and marketing. We discussed plans for promotion next year - it looks as though I may be seeing a bit more of New York ('Any excuse to come over here is fine by me!' I said) as well as other cities in the US. It all sounds very exciting, and from that meeting we went into a working lunch during which I discussed the book and my writing generally with the people who will be selling it in the real world. I felt nervous but really enjoyed talking about the book and answering their brilliant and very perceptive questions - the tricky thing was not giving away too much of the ending as not everyone had finished it!

Finally, the next day, I went back in to shoot a little video that we can use to explain the inspiration behind the book and talk a little bit about it. Again I was nervous (like many people I'm not that keen on being on video) but I really enjoyed it. Hopefully I'll be able to post the results here (or a link to them at least) before too long. After that it was time for one more lovely dinner with my agent (this time also with another of her authors, Katie Kitamura, whose brilliant book The Long Shot I had read on the way over and who is excellent company!) before it was time to come home. I had a brilliant trip, and I feel terribly guilty that I can spend time with amazing, interesting, enthusiastic people in a city I love and (just about) call it 'work'...

Anyway, here's what the US bound proof will look like...

Front... and back....

Some lovely responses!

What an exciting day! Some authors have read Before I Go to Sleep and told us what they think of it - and I am pretty happy!

Joanne Harris, author of Chocolat and BlueEyedBoy, has said "Thrillers seldom come much better than this."

Sophie Hannah Jones author of Little Face and The Point of Rescue has said, "Oh my God! I loved it! So high-concept, so ambitious and so structurally brilliant. It's so rare to read a thriller that's perfect in every detail, but this one definitely qualifies!"

Lionel Shriver, author of the wonderful We Need to Talk About Kevin, has said the book is "'A deft, perceptive exploration of a fascinating neurological condition, and a cracking good thriller."

Tess Gerritsen, author of the Rizzoli and Isles series as well as a whole heap of bestselling novels, has described the book as "Simply the best debut novel I have ever read."

And now today, Dennis Lehane, amazing author of Shutter Island and Mystic River, has said the book is "An exceptional thriller. It left my nerves jangling for hours after I finished the last page."

Wow. SJ Watson, author of Before I Go to Sleep, says "Blimey!"

Revisiting Faber

I spent Wednesday evening at the Faber offices in Bloomsbury. I had been invited along to speak to the students on the Faber Academy 'Writing a Novel' course - which is the programme that I completed last year.

It was a wonderful experience, and one I thoroughly enjoyed. I felt a little embarrassed to be talking about myself quite so much, but I suppose (or hope, at least!) that is what the students were interested in hearing. And I was asked some interesting and perceptive questions, which, reassuringly, were about how I wrote Before I Go to Sleep, and what I did to get the most possible out of the course, rather than whether there was any money to be made from writing novels or what the secret is to getting a publishing deal. I don't know the answers to those questions (and rather suspect they don't have answers more helpful than 'yes and no' and 'writing a good book') whereas I could tell them where I got the idea for Before I Go to Sleep, whether I knew the ending before I started writing it and what time of the day I like to write ('an obituary', 'no', and 'any time, but mostly in the morning'). In any case, I think and hope it was a good time for the students to be hearing from someone who is still new to all this, who is still learning the business of publishing, and who was sat where they are just a few months ago. They are at the beginning of their course, and have a wonderful journey ahead of them, a wonderful opportunity to develop and grow as writers.

And hopefully to make some new friends too. In some ways it was a bittersweet experience for me, too (though more sweet than bitter, by far). I still miss my time on the course. I miss the routine of attending every Wednesday and one Saturday a month, I miss the excitement of wondering what I'll learn, and who I'll meet. But most of all I miss my gang, the other students , as well as Richard, our tutor. We bonded incredibly quickly and became (and remain) very very close. We all cared hugely about each other, and each other's work. We wanted the best for each other, and wanted to bring the best out of each other. It was lovely, in the pub after my session, to see that that kind of camaraderie is already developing in the current crop of students, but it made me miss my lot. Now we're scattered across the globe our friendship is no less strong, but it's an inescapable fact that the occasions when we are all together are going to be rare and much cherished.

At the Bloomsbury Festival

So this is me, at a Faber Academy open day, as part of the Bloomsbury Festival. I was chatting about my experience of going from writing by myself, wondering if anything I was committing to paper was even any good, let alone whether it would ever be published, to where I am now (i.e. a little less insecure, though sometimes still riddled with doubt, but at least knowing that my book will be on the shelves next year). I tried to explain how I think the course I did at the Faber Academy had helped me to make that journey, without sounding like I was selling it, or recommending it (or a course like it) as the only way to ever get a publishing deal. I may well type up my notes and put a version of my talk up here, but for now I can just say that the gist is 'Perseverance and hard work will get you where you want to be, and the idea that the publishing world is full of people trying to keep you out is both prevalent and wrong.'

The event was in a very grand location - the Foundling Museum - and I think was well received. It was certainly nice for me to meet my fellow speakers, all of whom were very entertaining and interesting. Anthony McGowan framed his talk about writing for children with a rather gruesome tale that I won't go into here, Andrea Stuart spoke about the pleasures and pitfalls of writing one's own family history and Gillian Slovo discussed ideas, and where they come from, and how sometimes an idea that seems to have come from nowhere has in fact spent a long time gestating. That's certainly true of Before I Go to Sleep - while the basic premise came to me very quickly, it's only now that I can see that a lot of the ideas and preoccupations of the book are things I've been thinking about for years.

So, all round, I got loads out of the day - and I hope that the people that attended it did, too.

Preparing for a talk or two, and writing Nine Lives

All has been relatively quiet on the book front this week. I've been asked to do a quick talk to a few prospective Faber Academy students tomorrow (when I say 'a few' I mean ninety - I'm not that nervous, but only because I've decided not to think about how many there'll be and instead try to convince myself it's just to a couple of people in a living room) so I've been preparing for that. It's quite handy really - good practice for next week when I'll be guest tutor at the Faber course proper. It's the same course that I did, and when I was there we had Andrew Motion filling equivalent slot. I'm trying not to let that intimidate me - after all I have no hope of reaching the giddy heights of his talk. I'm just focussing on being intelligent and articulate enough that not too many of the students demand their money back.

Partly by way of preparation for my talk next week (and partly just so we could catch up and have a bit of a gossip) I met up for a quick drink with Richard Skinner and Louise Doughty - the two tutors on the course I did - the other day. It was so lovely to see them - Louise especially as she only taught me a couple of sessions (we were split into two groups and Richard taught mine) and so I didn't know her as well socially. Both are wonderful writers (I'd recommend Richard's brilliant 'The Red Dancer' and Louise's 'Whatever You Love' is absolutely stunning) and though I still feel very humble in their presence it was nice to just go for a good old chin-wag with them.

Other than that I've just been trying to press on with writing Nine Lives. So far I've not done that much onscreen (it's far too early to start talking about word counts, but let's just say when I told Louise how far I'd progressed she first thought I was talking about pages, not words) but the scraps of paper with spidery scribbles are gradually accumulating. (And not all of them are pointless doodles...) Oh, and I've got into a bit of a pointless argument about NaNoWriMo on a message board I occasionally frequent (I think I'm classed as a 'lurker' there) - my thoughts on which I won't go into, for fear of getting into the same argument here...

Finally, I thought I'd provide a link to the Facebook page for my book here. I rather suspect some of the people reading this have come from there, in which case I apologise, but for the rest, please consider taking a look, pressing "like", or even dropping a quick comment. It makes me feel popular, and I promise not post too often, and only with things at least moderately interesting and relevant...

Oh, and I've also started going to the gym, but no one's even remotely interested in that, surely....?

The latest incarnation

I thought I'd just share the latest incarnation of Before I Go to Sleep. This is bound, but not copy edited, ready for me to give to a very famous author indeed to see if they'll do me the very great honour of reading it. Fingers crossed!

Meetings and more press

It's been a pretty busy week, though for once not all of it has been book related. After an unexpected trip abroad we flew home on Saturday, and then on Sunday went to dinner with Clare and Michael, who is my Australian publisher. It was wonderful to meet him, despite the excesses of the Frankfurt book fair that he was in the middle of returning home from he was funny, fun and charming, and his enthusiasm for my book was wonderful to witness. He advised me to think carefully about my decision to write Nine Lives in the third person ('Because I want to see if I can...') and when I said I intended to start the actual writing the next morning asked me if I was sure I was ready to put pen to paper ('I think so...'). I think he's going to be a wonderful ally...

I spent Monday working on the plot of Nine Lives (it turns out I wasn't ready to put pen to paper after all) and then yesterday plunged back into the world of Before I Go to Sleep. I had a meeting to discuss the jacket design, one that I went to with no small amount of anxiety. What if I didn't like it? Would I be able to sit there, next to the designer who had worked so hard, and say 'No! I hate it!' (or even, 'Well...er... it's sort of kind of... ok... I suppose... maybe?'). No, of course I wouldn't. But in the end I needn't have worried. Though it's still in its early stages (far too early for me to post a picture here) I can report that the cover design is going to be stunning and I'm very happy indeed.

And now, today, I find that the local newspaper in the town where I grew up, is running with the 'Midlands Medic/Hollywood' story. You can read it here. It's weird, seeing these newspapers run with what is essentially the same story, all with slightly different quotes and emphases. The Express and Star has me as coming from Amblecote (not strictly true, and certainly not something I said to Dalya when she interviewed me a couple of weeks ago) and it seems I'm now a definitely a medic, which to me implies a doctor, which I'm not. (In fact I'm a Clinical Scientist - a profession which includes microbiologists, biochemists, toxicologists and so on - people who are often sitting in a laboratory with petri dishes and samples, though in my case (Audiology) I spent my time working directly with patients in a sound proofed room). I won't get upset, though. As errors go, these things are reassuringly trivial....

More press

More press! This time in The Birmingham Mail. You can read it here.

The press, and my leaving party, and a thankyou

So, last week was bizarre. Clare sent me a message out of the blue late on Monday night - would I be happy to talk to a journalist the following day? Now, Tuesday happened to be the first of three consecutive days back in my 'old' job, and so I would be spending it locked in a room in central London analysing questionnaires (part of my job is as a sort of Ofsted type inspector, but for health services), and so I said I would be happy but not available. No problem, she said. I could do an interview over the phone in my lunch break.

So I did. It was a very odd experience. The journalist, Dalya, was very lovely, and asked me lots of interesting questions about me, and the book, and how I came to write it. You wouldn't think it would be too hard - after all I'm sort of in love with the book again (now it's finished and in someone else's hands) - and this blog is probably testament to the fact that I don't have any problem talking about me. But still it was weird. Trying to answer questions in an articulate yet unambiguous way, constantly aware that every sentence might end up between quotation marks in a newspaper - it was harder than you might think, particularly when coupled with the need to be vaguely entertaining or interesting or, ideally I suppose, both.

Then there were the photos. It hadn't crossed my mind they'd need a picture. 'You're a scientist,' said Dalya. 'Do you wear a white coat?' I told her I didn't and the disappointment was audible. It would have made a good picture, I suppose, but in the end we arranged to get a real, proper, professional photographer to take some pictures, and so I arranged to meet him outside the hospital in which I work at 8am the next day.

That was another first. Standing, posing, in the street while someone with very professional looking kit takes shot after shot. I sort of enjoyed it, after a while (even though I'm not keen on having my photo taken at the best of times, plus I was dreading my colleagues turning up for work and seeing me - I'd never live it down), my favourite thing being seeing busloads of people looking disappointed when they craned their necks to see who I was, only to find I was nobody important, interesting or famous.

And then, yesterday the story ran. It was in the Evening Standard (you can read it here). Another weird experience. I went out for a lovely lunch with Liza, the woman who is producing the film of Before I Go to Sleep, and on the way home was suddenly aware that I was on a tube train filled with people reading the Standard, which carried the story of my book next to a photograph. Suddenly paranoid that I might be recognised, I wondered briefly if this is how famous people feel all the time (of course the answer is no - they feel much worse because a) they really are recognisable and b) people really would hassle them if they were recognised. I mean, what was going to happen to me? Probably the worst thing was that someone might nudge their companion and say, 'Isn't that the bloke from the paper?'). Then of course I found that I needn't have worried - unlike the online version, the printed copy carried a HUGE photo of Kate Winslet (AN ACTRESS WHO MIGHT BE IN THE FILM!) and a tiny photo of me (some bloke who wrote a book). I have NO idea what made the people at the Standard think that people would rather look at a photograph of a glamorous star than one of a bald, bespectacled and ever-so-slightly overweight (the BMI is creeping up - writing a novel is not good for the waistline) author, but there you go.

Seeing the story in print was very odd, though. It made it all feel very real, somehow, yet in a weird way made it seem as if it had nothing to do with me. And then, last night, I had my leaving 'do' (I'm taking a bit of time off to write another novel). I arrived to find all my colleagues brandishing copies of the Standard, demanding I sign them (I think they were joking, but they made me do it nevertheless), after which they ribbed me mercilessly (shift work?! A lab??!) and demanded that I name some of the characters in Nine Lives after them ('Be careful what you wish for!' I replied...) But it was a lovely night, and I feel very fortunate that these colleagues and friends are so supportive of my writing and enthusiastic about my book.

If any of them are reading this - thank you.

NEWSPAPERS!

I seem to be in the news! Enormously exciting, and I shall write more soon. But for now, the story is here...

Copy edits...

My copy edits are back. Both the US (who got them to me first, but gave me a longer deadline) and the UK versions. So I'm currently in the middle of going through them with a fine-tooth comb, making sure that I'm happy with the changes that have been made.

I've been doing it for a couple of days, and I'm in awe of copy editors. I must have read Before I Go to Sleep countless times now, either in chunks or as a whole, and all four of my English language editors have also read it so many times that really they deserve a medal. Yet still the copy editors have spotted so many mistakes I've made.

And I've made them all. Words repeating in in the same sentence? Check. Sentences in which order the word is messed up reason totally for some? Check. Missing question marks. Check. Forgetting to close quotation marks? "Check...

I've slipped into the past tense in the middle of a present tense section, forgotten to edit out the dreaded pluperfect (dreaded to me at least - I had no idea how addicted I was to the pluperfect until someone pointed it out to me). I already knew I had a tendency for characters to nod so vigorously and for such a long time that they ought to be seeking medical help for whiplash (and that's when they're not enduring pauses that are longer and more frequent than a particularly tense Pinter play), and I was aware that in the first draft one character puts his knife and fork down seventeen times during one meal without picking them up once, but I am particularly grateful to the copy editor who pointed out that one character describes something that had already happened as occurring 'soon' and to another who spotted that when my main character says, 'So you told me that ......' the person to whom she is speaking has said no such thing. Copy editors have to know when an author (i.e. me) has confused a scientific instrument (a Van de Graaff generator) with a prog rock band (Van der Graaf Generator) as well as when an author (still me I'm afraid) has a character remarking on the aroma of a flower that doesn't have a smell. They google guest houses to make sure that the dingy, run down establishment that the author has named doesn't actually exist (oops!) and check that the motorway the characters travel down is actually a sensible route from where they live to where they're going (yippee! I actually got that one right!). Like I said, I am in awe.

And I'm only two thirds of the way through...

Getting home, starting again

I'm typing this as we sit in the departure lounge of a Spanish airport, waiting for a delayed flight to somewhere we don't want to go but is at least in the UK, on our second attempt to get home from our summer holiday. The pug is waiting for us (being looked after, don't worry) and I missed last night's party for Transworld's 60th anniversary, but it isn't too bad. It's been a nice break.

All has been fairly quiet on the book front for a couple of days. Mercifully. I was warned (and it is fairly obvious) that the process of publishing is characterised by intense bursts of activity (demands for drafts, edits, decisions to be made about jackets or whether a section should be italicised) followed by fairly protracted longueurs in which nothing much seems to happen at all (or, rather, the work is falling on people other than me and I really ought to be working on the next book).

The bound proofs (Australia/Text)

One such burst ended a few days ago. I wasn't even going to bring my laptop on this holiday, but I am glad that, at the last moment, I slipped it in next to my flip-flops. Not only have I finished the book and sent it off for editing/translating, but I've been answering questions about dedications, acknowledgements (my next big challenge - sheer terror at the thought of missing someone off!) and epigraphs. Text, in Australia, are producing an extremely limited run of bound proofs so that they can get the book into the hands of their major booksellers as well as a couple of authors , so they've been busy preparing the text for that. It was weird, seeing the pdf of my text, formatted and ready to be bound, but exhilarating. Another step closer to it being a 'real' book.

The first print run (US/HarperCollins)

We also learned how many copies HarperCollins are going to print for the first run in the US. I'm not going to say (mostly because I'm not sure I'm allowed to), but I will say I'm not disappointed. I don't think the book is going to be difficult to find over there, let's put it like that. It's hugely gratifying, though - a real sign that the team at HC feel that Before I Go to Sleep deserves to be a success. I guess once a writer has been lucky enough to find a publishing deal, their next worry is that, on release, the book might just dribble out, unnoticed. So it's nice to know that Claire's team in America seem to have big plans...

Nine Lives

And, meanwhile, I'm finding that ideas are pouring out of me for the next book, Nine Lives. I've been concentrating on Before I Go to Sleep for so long, yet it seems that, for the last few weeks at least, ideas have been percolating through, waiting for the moment my conscious mind is ready to receive and process them. It feels great to be back in the position where I'm reaching for the notebook in the middle of the night, jotting down sentences, some of which make sense the following morning ('MC's job? Airline? Hairdresser? Actress?') and some of which don't ('make it more orange'). I feel like I'm back in the thick of it again, machete in hand, searching for the path. I bloody love it, which is why I'll never, ever complain about having to bring my laptop and notebook on holiday. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now it's gone... what next?

On Wednesday I sent Before I Go to Sleep off. I created a 'clean' manuscript (which I learned was one with no 'notes to the editor' in square brackets, and certainly no 'notes to self' - just the words I wanted on the page) for the UK (nappy, pavement, bonnet) and one for the US (diaper, sidewalk, hood), and emailed them both off to their respective editors. Michael and Ali, at Text in Australia, got both (I'm not sure which one they'll work from) and Jake, at my agency, sent the UK version around the world to be translated.

So now it's done. The book is finished. In the hands of others, and their problem for a couple of weeks at least. Then there's a round of copy editing, and more besides I'm sure, but the hard work, the creative work, is over. Now, while I still might be able to change the word 'because' to the word 'however', I can no longer make the characters 10 years younger, or change the place they live, or how they live their lives. All that's fixed, now.

With the manuscript out of my hands I feel a curious absence. My thoughts turn more and more to how Before I Go to Sleep is going to be presented to the world. Soon I'm going to be presented with (more) jacket designs, already people are coming up with potential cover blurbs for me to give my opinion on. I'm being asked to provide author photographs (so far, only for use within my publishers, but it's only a matter of time before I'm being asked to provide one for a publicity shots and the dreaded author photograph for the book jacket ("Does it have to be of me?" I feel like saying. "Can't I have a picture of my pug on there?"). I've been asked about my acknowledgements, dedications, epigraphs (I've found the most perfect epigraph - three lines from a poem - and am keeping my fingers crossed that we can get the required permissions. Things are revving up.

Best of all, though, I can now finally devote serious attention to my next book. For a while, at least...

The film deal

So, on Friday we finalised the film deal. Negotiations have been going on for a while (and have been tremendously exciting, though of course I haven't been able to speak, let alone blog, about them, and I'm very VERY happy that Rowan Joffe will be writing and directing, with Liza Marshall producing), but we finally agreed everything in time for it to be announced at the film festival in Toronto. That must have happened over the weekend, because by Monday Variety were reporting the story, and shortly afterwards it had been picked up by lots of others (including Coming Soon, Collider, the Hollywood News and Ain't it Cool.

It feels weird. Suddenly my book is being talked about, and described by other people. 'Freaky Ageing Tale' is my favourite so far (and is not wholly inaccurate, I suppose). People are commenting. 'Isn't this just a Dana Carvey rom com/Memento retread/50 First Dates rehash?' And of course it's very tempting to answer back. To defend myself. To register on the board and point out that that is like saying Star Wars is a retread of 2001 because they both feature spaceships. 'No. No it isn't,' I might say. 'Actually it's....'

But of course that would be wrong. That would stifle discussion (at best, more likely drag me into a flame war). It would be reductive. Yes, it's weird that people are discussing my book, and it's tremendously exciting, but it's also a reminder that people are going to have opinions about it and some of them won't be ones I'm happy about. But hey, that's the way the world works. Some people, even when they've read Before I Go to Sleep, will still think it's a reworking of Memento. There isn't a lot I can do about that, and it shouldn't bother me, as long as there are also people who love the book.

The truth is, now I've finished the book (Claire W signed it off on Monday so now I just have to finalise the manuscripts ready for copy editing), Before I Go to Sleep has a life of its own. I have to cut the cord...

Limbo and a jacket design

I feel I'm in a weird kind of limbo. Before I Go to Sleep feels done, yet (while I know my subconscious is beavering away at it), I can't yet focus on the next book until this one has finally been signed off by my editor. Ironically, in my first week of being a full time writer, I've written nothing.

I have been out, though. On Tuesday I went to see DBC Pierre read from - and answer questions about - his new novel, and afterwards enjoyed a lovely supper with my agent, Clare, and a small group of her friends. A few of them had read my book, or at least heard about it, and at one point it was being debated enthusiastically. It was lovely to hear, yet at the same time I had the weirdest sensation, as if the book they were talking about had nothing at all to do with me. It almost felt as if it was something I'd read, a very long time ago, but had had no involvement in the creation of. Perhaps that's normal.

Yesterday, though, it felt very real. I woke to an email from the team at Text, who are publishing my book in Australia and New Zealand. 'We are delighted to show you our cover...' it said. I was still half asleep, but felt almost too anxious to open the email. What if I hated it? What if it looked like the kind of book I wouldn't look twice at? The cover design is so important - probably the main reason someone picks up a book in a store (or, presumably, clicks on it in an online store?) - and the wrong jacket might put off a whole host of potential readers.

So, anyway. I did open the email. And I love the cover. I think it's perfect. It's designed by the art director at Text, Chong Weng Ho.
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The Australian Jacket design.

The text at the bottom says 'The best debut novel I have ever read. Tess Gerritsen'. That bit I am particularly happy about!

Next steps

So, with the draft in the hands of my US editor, Claire (yes, there are a lot of people called Claire or Clare in my life at the moment - including a character in Before I Go to Sleep), all is quiet on the book front. Or rather, it is for me, but other people are very busy.

The team at Transworld have had a meeting and come up with a plan. Claire (yes, another one) is working on cover ideas. A copy editor has been secured and hopes to start on it in a couple of weeks with the goal of finishing in early October, then I'll have a week or so to take a look before it's typeset in mid October.

So the plan is to have proofs (two sets!) bound and ready to go pretty soon. And then I'll start to find out what people (i.e. reviewers and other authors) think about the book.

It's all starting to happen...

Meanwhile, with the macaroni cheese/boil-in-the-bag fish debate resolved (for now at least) I've been to the theatre. We went to see "Earthquakes in London". A very good, ambitious play, sort of a 'climate change meets Angels in America'. Thought provoking, but a little too long. It was on at the National Theatre, and we were sat at a sort of curving bar, as if in some kind of futuristic nightclub, as the action took place around us. It was quite something to be that close to the actors, and reminded me a little of the work of Punchdrunk. Theatre that takes place around the audience, not in front of it, and in which the line between audience and production blurs. I think it's interesting, and something that we'll see more of in literature.

Finishing the book

Well, I finished Before I Go to Sleep today. Again. I've read it through, and I'm pretty pleased with it. Of course, I can't be objective any more, but I think it's good. It doesn't rattle. There are moments of genuine surprise. I'm happy.

But it's not the first time I've finished it, of course. That was in...

August 2009

August 9th, to be precise. I remember the date, not only because I have slightly obsessive tendencies, but because it's my friend Simon's birthday. That was when I first finished the book, and typed 'The End'. I was happy with it, but I knew it wasn't really finished. I knew I had a redraft to do. I used Lulu.com and had it bound into a book, then I put it away, unread, until October. Back then it was called The Seahorse Diaries and it looked like this.

In October, I read it, and began the redraft. That took me until...

January 2010

That was when I decided it was as good as I could get it. That it was definitely finished now. I read it through and delivered it to my agent, Clare, who told me what I still needed to do to turn it into a book that she could sell. I set to work on another draft, that took me up to....

April 2010

That was when Clare asked to see it again. I worked solidly for a week and emailed it over. Finished. Finally. Following her read through of this draft Clare and Jake (Clare's colleague who handles foreign rights) began to plot submission. We'd have to get it out soon, I was told, as the publishing industry goes very quiet during the summer. There were more edits to make. Could I get it finished in a couple of weeks? It was that or leave it until September. Knowing I'd never be able to stand the suspense, I said I could, and went back to work....

May 2010

In May I finished it again. About four times.With each draft the edits I was making were smaller, more refined. Changing nuances here and there, adding elements to bring certain aspects of the plot into starker relief. But, still, they were not inconsiderable. Finally, on May 31st, Clare, Jake and I finally declared it done and ready to go. Fast forward to...

August 2010

A year (almost to the day) since I first finished the book, and with sales in upwards of 20 countries, I completed the edits suggested by my english language editors. Finally it's done, I thought. But now it's...

September 2010

And (I think) it is. There were a couple more things still to do, and now they're done.

So today is the sixth time I've 'finished' Before I Go to Sleep. I wonder if that's usual? I think it must be, for a first novel at least. At each stage it's become a tighter, better book. It feels more solid, now. It can stand up for itself, if that makes sense, and doesn't need me any more. That feels good.

I still have the version I finished in August 2009, though. Bound, as if it's a real book. One day it might be fun to read it again, to see just how far it's come.

But not today.

Update - Jumpers, blurbs and the film deal...

I'm editing Before I Go to Sleep at the moment. It's pretty tricky. The plot is complex and everything hinges on everything else, so changing even a tiny element seems to send a ripple throughout the rest of the plot. It's slow work. Every edit feels like pulling at a loose thread in a favourite jumper - it might make it look even better than it does at the moment, but it might just as easily cause the whole thing to unravel. I suppose I have to have the confidence that it's stitched together better than I think...

The great thing is that I don't feel totally alone in this any more. Over the last few days Selina, my UK editor, my agent, Clare, publicist, Alison and I have been sending emails back and forth discussing a possible cover 'blurb' for the book. It's pretty exciting - the first time I read it I found myself thinking 'Wow, I'd like to read this book,' almost before I realised it was my novel being discussed. That's got to be a good sign. And since then the three of us have examined every word and tweaked each syllable to get it perfect. I'll share it soon.

What else? On Thursday Clare and I met with the lovely Nick, who is handling the film and media rights. I sat in the offices of Curtis Brown, still not quite believing I was actually supposed to be there, and then we discussed how things are progressing on that front. Needless to say it's all very exciting. The thought that someone might one day want to make a film of my book was always a fantasy, and now it's a reality. People do want to. And though that doesn't mean a film is going to be made (I don't know much about how the film industry works, but I know enough to not get too excited about a film actually being made until the cameras roll, and even then that film might not see the light of day) that's pretty wonderful. The whole thing moves at a glacial pace (compared to the sale of the book, at least), but more news when we get it...

Now, back to the edits. Macaroni cheese? Or boil-in-the-bag cod? Hmmm....

Flashback - August 2008 - The beginning

I wasn't blogging two years ago, but if I were I would have been writing about my forthcoming job interview. At the time I was working full time in the NHS, in a fairly senior, clinical, role, in a service that was under a good deal of pressure. I had always written, and had taken evening classes at Birkbeck College here in London, but was struggling to find the space in my life that I felt writing deserved. At work the hours were long, and I never really stopped thinking about the job, so while I did snatch an hour here or there to push on with the novel I had been writing since 2006, progress was frustratingly slow, and for some time that frustration had been turning into a real unhappiness. I was becoming snappy, irritable and difficult to live with, and all my relationships were suffering.

I’d decided it couldn’t go on. Did I want to be a writer, or manage an NHS service? I was on a fast track to one while claiming to want the other, and it was time to make a choice. I’d applied for another job, much more junior but, crucially, part time. If I got it I would see my wages halve overnight but would have an extra two days a week completely free to write, as well as less stress to stop me from doing so on the other five. I was (and am) incredibly lucky to have a wonderfully supportive partner and together we decided we would cope with the financial implications of a move if it meant I could do what I wanted to do with my life. The interview was scheduled for September.

I was successful, and as soon as I handed in my notice I knew I had done the right thing. A weight lifted and finally I felt able to see the way I wanted my writing to go. The project I was working on felt too much like a part of an old me and within a couple of weeks I abandoned it. I felt free, positive that I was doing the right thing. I began to scout around for ideas for another novel, and in fact stumbled across much more than that. I found an advert for The Faber Academy. One of the courses was called ‘Writing a Novel from Start to Finish’, and it started a month after my new job would begin. It was perfect, I thought, and would allow me to really focus on writing for the whole of 2009. I realized I had another application to make.

Lunch with Tess Gerritsen

I had lunch with Tess Gerritsen this week. I was up in Edinburgh at the festival, and she was in town to talk about her new book, The Killing Place, and we share both an editor and a publicist, Alison, so it made sense. I had a wonderful time – despite her jetlag Tess (or Terry) was funny, fascinating and full of advice as to what I might have in store next year – and I managed to get to the end of lunch before telling her that my mother is her biggest fan and asking for a signed copy of her book.

One thing she said struck me, though. We were talking about Facebook and Twitter and so on and Alison told Terry that I was already fairly prolific online. 'You should blog about what’s happening to you,' said Terry. 'Lots of people want to know how to become a writer. You’re someone that it’s happened to, so you should write about it. That’s what people will be interested in.’ I nodded enthusiastically, but I suppose that’s something I haven’t really been doing.

Things have happened very quickly for me. In May I was still struggling to finish editing my book, only daring to hope that perhaps my agent would find an editor who would take a chance on it and publish it in the UK. As I write this in August we have now secured publishing deals that will see my novel published all over the world.

I think I’ve been too embarrassed, too ‘English’ about the whole thing. I'm still trying to get used to the fact that someone – anyone - has actually ready my book and liked it, so the fact that Tess Gerritsen said she was fifty pages in and 'having a great time with it' still doesn't really seem real. No one would be very interested in what’s happening to me, I’ve been saying to myself. Wouldn’t it be seen as arrogant to write about myself in anything but the most superficial level? It’s the book that’s important, isn’t it, surely?

And yes, it is, of course. But just two years ago I was working in the NHS, struggling to create enough space in my life for my writing, and now I’m having lunch with Tess Gerritsen and her publicist, who is also my publicist. The journey so far has been extraordinary. Perhaps people will be interested in what’s happened, and what’s continuing to happen. Perhaps that is what I should be writing about.

Here, then, is where I plan to write about what’s happening, as well as to fill in some of the back story as we go along. Let’s see how it goes…